Starman's Deer Hunter II

This is an excerpt from a facebook message Starman sent me a little while back. I thought it was blog worthy. The shop I work at had a lime green 1975 Fuji Tourer that had been sitting in the back for years and we gave it to him. His message is a first ride report.

"Took out the mean green machine for a test run today. Wasn't anything enduring like our club runs. It was 20 miles, but it was on pretty much level ground, no hills and valleys to kick puch combo through. I do like the new pedals and shoes, but I still want to try them out on our more trying route to see the difference, although I'm not sure that I'll notice much of any since I exchanged step in's for another 15 lbs. of bike. Yeah I'm hooked. Going out again tomorrow as long as it's not raining.... ah the hell with it, a little rain never hurt anyone.

"Oh yeah almost forgot... first time out on my new bike, and my nick name was there to stare me in the face! I ran across 14 deer! No shit 14 and one of them was a 10 point buck! That big bastard about made me shit my pants when he didn't move til I was 5 yards off him. What is it about those damn animals? They can't be happy with running off into the woods on their own damn side of the road? No they have to wait til you're about on them and then the grass on the other side of the road looks like a safer spot for them?!?!?! As soon as I got back to my car I drove straight to WalMart and bought a Deer Whistle and mounted it on my bike."

Also, our "club" is official a club starting next trimester. We didn't realize that there was actual paperwork you had to fill out for the school to recognize us.

New Logan Bike Shed?

With enough pressure on the school, I think we can get one of these built...

T-Shirts!

Logan Cycling Club now has t-shirts! If you are interested in purchasing one please e-mail me at jellis25@gmail.com or find me at school. Shirts are $12 each and come in M, L, and XL.

Yes, we ship internationally.

Oh, What a Night!

I wasn't going to write a post this week because I didn't think I could make up a story good enough to top last week's ride. Boy was I wrong. Most of the ride was pretty uneventful we road our normal route with little to no problems with the climbs. It was helping hearing Starman yelling "Kick, kick, punch, punch" as we spun up the hills. About halfway through the ride Starman took the lead from Captain and I and was heading down the hill where Kerhs Mill meets Stecker. About halfway down I see a deer jump out right in front of Starman rolling him over his handlebars straight onto the pavement. I thought for sure the club had its first fatality. I was far enough behind where I was able to swerve out of the way avoiding the crash completely. After ditching my bike about 100 feet ahead I ran back to see what condition he was in. The first words out of his mouth (after "ahhhh-argg-ouch-ouch-ouch-ouch) were, "At least the bike is okay." The bike was not okay.


Because he didn't have a nickname Starman will now be known as "The Deer Hunter."

I found out later that the police were able to identify the deer by the DNA left on the bike. This is the statement they received:

"I had watched these bikers ride through my turf week after week cruising down the hill yelling obscenities as they rode past. I decided that this week was the time to fight back, their invasion had to come to an end. I waited by the side of the road where I knew they would be coming through. I almost feel asleep a couple of times but knew in my heart this needed to be done. Just as I was going to give up I saw three lights coming over the crest of the hill. I thought it best to take out the lead man and maybe the rest would follow. Just as he approached me I jumped in front and flipped him over the bars. My injuries were minor but I am almost certain that his riding days are through. I slapped hooves with my fellow deer once I reached the other side of the road and we leaped off into the woods. I am fairly certain those a-holes won't be crossing onto our turf again."

Now that we can't ride together until Deer Hunter gets a new bike, we have planned a club cookout at Captain's house next Wednesday at 7pm. All members and fans are invited to attend and we should have t-shirts available at that time. Directions will be provided soon.

-JFE

Did I Win?

This video has been up for about a month now and I'm not too sure how I feel about it. My first impression was that this guy is a real hard ass. But then after watching it a few times I realized that he is just some jerk who just happened to wreck at the finish.

What would I have done you ask? Clotheslined the second place rider as he crossed the finish line.

What do you think?

Night Ride Two Report - TMNT

Hello all of you loyal Logan Cycling Club fans. It is time for another blog post. I know you have all been holding your breath since the last full blog post came out. It is now time to breath freely and read of our travels.

You may recall me mentioning the west Clayton Rd. hill on my last post and the difficulty it gave me. Well folks, this time I had my way with that hill and it will haunt my dreams no longer. During the ride I was reminded of playing arcade games as a child and how difficult I found some of the bosses during certain levels. It was not long before I found a parallel with cycling. My favorite game growing up was the old Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles game so I decided to reference that when talking about our ride.

The game tonight was played with the maximum amount of players, four total. Me as Donatello, Captain as Raphael, The Rock as Leonardo and Starman as Michelangelo. The beginning started out pretty simple, continually walking to the right with very little trouble knocking down all of the thugs along the street (aka rolling hills and easy climbs). Shortly after this we came upon our first Boss (big hill). The last time we had played, it was just the two of us and I lost a couple lives (had to walk up the hill). This time was different. All four of the us fought as one to destroy the boss with continuous combo kicks and stabs to the face. It was truly an epic battle. After the first Boss the levels weren't so bad until we reached the Babler Boss (Babler State Park). Many do not realize this is an easter egg or "hidden level" which some choose to bypass (we snuck past the gate). Like many of the other levels, leading up to the boss wasn't so bad. We were able to move through fairly easily. But once we hit the boss there was not much we could do. Perhaps next week when we all get back together we will be able to destroy it but for now we just had to save the game.

Alright, that was super confusing. I hope some of you were able to follow. So the hill was much bigger than we anticipated but we did learn how Starman's name came about. Apparently when he gets really dehydrated and his blood sugar gets low he begins to see stars. No joke, it happened and we almost had to call Splinter for help. Splinter by the way is Brett. Mostly because right now he is carrying as many diseases as your average sewer rat. So, we nearly got lost in the park but once Starman recovered, he was able to guide us home using the constellations (GPS).

All in all it was a good ride. It was nice to see some of our new members out and I think we made a new friend with the guy at the gas station.

Oh, I forgot to put this on for last week. The Rock ran over a live possum during our ride. It was crazy.

-JFE

Night Ride Two

Club Night Ride tomorrow!

Wednesday, Sept. 23, 9pm. Meeting at my place, Madison Seven Trails, Ballwin. Bring a light and a desire to be awesome.

Also, leave comments. It makes me feel like this blog is important.

Night Ride

So I wouldn't call it official or anything but we just finished our first ride as a club. And when I say it's not official I mean since the club was formed last week two of the members went on a ride together. Call it what you will but I maintain it was the first club ride.

Accompanying me on the ride this evening was The Rock and I couldn't have asked for a better partner. We pretty much pwned the night better than Marky Mark and Joaquin Phoenix. If I was to choose who was who I would say that I am more of a Joaqin type and Paul would be Wahlberg. I just wish he would stop asking me to say hello to my mother for him.

The weather was perfect tonight a beautiful 67 degrees fahrenheit or 292.4 Kelvin for all of you absolute zero folks. The only difficulty I found in the ride was the West Clayton hill which conquered me without even batting an eyelash. The Rock however was able to demolish it and then went back for seconds. It was truly an epic ride.

Apart from the ride there is some other good news. We have added two new members to the group: Jonathan "Captain" Emlet and Nicholas Starman. Nick requires no nickname because his last name is f'ing STARMAN. He is a professed mountain biker but we think he will soon roam the streets with us. He'd like to come and meet us, but he thinks he'd blow our minds.

That is it for now. Check back soon for more worthless updates.

Let all the children boogie.

-JFE

New Members!

So, in the last three days the club membership has increased by 200%. At this rate we should have about 2 million within 65 days. I have been told however that the group may plateau at some point, which I can understand. To be more reasonable I am going to estimate 1 million members within 2 months. The group rides may be a little messy but with 999,999 people in front of you, stretching over 900 miles, you should be able to draft so well that you will not have to pedal.

This seems like a good draw for new members. "Every millionth member gets to ride without pedaling." I may change my estimate to 2 million members now.

Alright, back to welcoming the new members:

Logan Cycling Club is proud to welcome Brett "Rookie" Jordan and Paul "The Rock" Frieling. Congratulations boys, you have officially become men.

-JFE

Welcome

Welcome all members and fans to the newly formed Logan Cycling Club. Whether you came to the site intentionally or inadvertently it is an honor to have you reading about us. My hope is that the club will gain multiple members and the blog will have many followers but my expectations are not too high right now.

Currently the status of the club is one member, me John Ellis, and a logo which you should see if I uploaded it correctly. Right now it feels a bit like the Murphy Group on Entourage, but it should last longer than 6 episodes, although those episodes were split between two seasons so I am not sure how that equates to real time.

Anyway, once the group is established (which should be within hours), there will be a weekly group ride. Depending on who plans to join I am going to guess it will be 25-30 miles and will start at the school sometime in the early evening. The club is also working on making some sweet t-shirts as well so keep checking back for updates.

I don't think there is anything else to say.

I will leave you with this super cool thumbs up. Don't worry it's not really busting through your screen.

President John F. Ellis